Go Goanna Read online

  Contents

  1. PET OLYMPICS

  2. EMERGENCY STOP!

  3. MOULDY CHEESE

  4. SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

  5. 1 DOG + 1 GOANNA = $10

  6. MUSH!

  7. CRASH! WALLOP! THUMP!

  8. GO GOANNA

  9. SPRUNG!

  10. GET BACK DOWN!

  11. THE ‘M’ WORD

  12. GOTCHA!

  13. KISS KISS

  14. CODE PURPLE?

  15. WHO’S A PRETTY BOY?

  16. ANIMAL EMERGENCY

  17. TYRANNOSAURUS

  18. HIT THE ROAD

  19. GOANNA GONE

  FOR RILEY, HONORARY MF AGENT.

  ‘Where are your helmets?’ asked Harry and Jordan’s dad.

  ‘We don’t need them,’ Harry said.

  ‘We’re not going on our bikes today,’ said Jordan.

  The twins were wearing their school hats. Harry’s was turned inside-out – it said H. Fox rulz where Nullambine Primary School was supposed to be.

  Their mum frowned. ‘Just because it’s a tricycle doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear helmets.’

  ‘It isn’t a tricycle!’ said one twin.

  ‘It’s the FoxMobile!’ said the other.

  ‘I don’t care what you call it,’ said Mr Fox. ‘You have to be safe on the road.’

  ‘But we won’t go on the road,’ Harry promised.

  ‘We’ll stay on the footpath,’ said Jordan.

  ‘You’ll walk to school if you keep arguing!’ their mum warned.

  The twins fetched their helmets. Then they called Myrtle, their humungous dog. Today, for the very first time, she was going to school.

  Every year Jordan and Harry’s school had the Pet Olympics. Myrtle had never been in them before. Not only was she BIG, but she was very hard to control. Pets weren’t allowed in the Olympics until they were properly trained.

  It had taken four years, but at last Myrtle was ready to compete.

  ‘Sit!’ said Jordan. (His fingers were crossed.)

  Myrtle sat.

  ‘Stay!’ said Harry. (His fingers were crossed.)

  Myrtle stayed.

  Mr Fox smiled. ‘I’m impressed!’

  Mrs Fox gave the twins an envelope. ‘Here’s the money,’ she said. ‘Don’t forget to give it to Mr Stokes.’

  ‘See you at the Olympics,’ said their dad.

  The twins looked surprised. ‘Are you coming?’ they asked at the same time.

  ‘I’ll drop in on my way to work,’ he said.

  ‘We both will,’ said their mum.

  The twins strapped on Myrtle’s harness and clipped it to the FoxMobile. It did look a bit like a tricycle. It looked a bit like a billycart, too. And a bit like a dog-sled with wheels. But mostly, it just looked like the FoxMobile. The twins had never taken it to school before, either.

  Today was a very special day.

  Jordan and Harry put their schoolbags into the animal rescue cage on the back of the FoxMobile, then they climbed aboard. It was Harry’s turn to drive.

  ‘Hold on tight, Agent J!’ he said over his shoulder.

  Jordan held on tight.

  Myrtle wagged her tail. She knew what Harry was going to say next. It was what you said to a sled dog (or a FoxMobile dog) when you wanted it to start running.

  It was Myrtle’s favourite command.

  ‘Mush!’ said Harry.

  Myrtle took off like it was the old days (before she was properly trained) and she’d just seen a cat.

  They were halfway to school, going flat out, when Harry shouted at the top of his voice:

  ‘EMERGENCY STOP!’

  The FoxMobile didn’t have brakes, but the twins were wearing school shoes with thick rubber soles. They skidded them along the footpath until the FoxMobile and Myrtle stopped.

  The bottom of Jordan’s feet felt hot and there was a smell of burning rubber.

  ‘What’s the emergency?’ he asked.

  Harry jumped out of the driver’s seat. ‘I think Ruby’s got a problem.’

  The FoxMobile had stopped right outside Ruby’s Fresh Fruit and Produce. Ruby and a man with a broom were peering into the back of a small delivery van. They both looked worried.

  ‘What’s up, Ruby?’ Harry asked.

  Her real name was Mrs Aitkin, but nobody called her that.

  ‘Stay back, dears,’ she warned. ‘There’s a monster lizard in Mr Dalby’s van.’

  ‘Cool!’ said Harry, who loved lizards – especially monster ones. He hurried over to look.

  ‘It’s a goanna,’ he said. ‘What a beauty! Come and check it out, Jordan.’

  Jordan didn’t like lizards nearly as much as Harry did. And he especially didn’t like monster ones. He told Myrtle to sit, then crept up and peered over his brother’s shoulder.

  ‘Shishkebab!’ he gasped.

  The van was full of egg cartons on shiny metal racks. Under the racks was a big, wrinkly goanna. Bits of eggshell clung to its jaws.

  ‘What’s it doing in there?’ Jordan asked.

  ‘Eating my eggs!’ wailed Mr Dalby, shaking the broom at it.

  ‘How did it get into your van?’ Harry asked.

  ‘We think it must have hitched a ride from the National Park,’ said Ruby.

  Mr Dalby explained: ‘I delivered some eggs to Park Headquarters before I came here. It must have climbed in when I wasn’t looking.’

  He poked the goanna with the broom handle, then jumped back when it hissed.

  ‘You’re scaring it,’ said Jordan.

  ‘I just want the horrible thing out of my van!’ growled Mr Dalby, prodding it again.

  ‘Give me the broom,’ Harry said, in a voice that was deeper and older-sounding than a normal nine-year-old’s. ‘Jordan and I will take care of this.’

  What!!? thought Jordan.

  Mr Dalby handed Harry the broom, then he and Ruby backed away from the van.

  ‘Are you crazy?’ Jordan whispered.

  ‘He was going to hurt the goanna,’ whispered Harry. ‘Remember the Mission Fox Official Oath?’

  Harry and Jordan were secret agents for Mission Fox Animal Rescue. They had made a solemn promise to help all creatures that were in danger – even monster lizards.

  ‘How do we get it out of there?’ Jordan asked.

  Harry shrugged. ‘Um …’

  The twins stood side by side, trying to think of a rescue plan. The monster lizard watched them. Its long, forked tongue flicked out and in like a snake’s. That’s how snakes and goannas smelled things – with their tongues. It gave Jordan an idea.

  ‘What do goannas eat?’ Jordan asked.

  ‘Eggs,’ said Harry.

  Jordan rolled his eyes. ‘What else?’

  Harry shrugged. ‘Let’s ask BRAIN.’

  Jordan fetched the FoxPhone from the side pocket of his school bag. It had a special app called BRAIN (Bird, Reptile and Animal Identification Network) that told you everything you needed to know about wildlife. He typed in: What do goannas like to eat?

  Here’s what came up on the screen:

  ‘What’s carrion?’ Harry asked.

  ‘Stinky dead animals,’ said Jordan. He turned to Ruby. ‘Is there any smelly meat in your shop, Mrs Aitkin?’

  ‘Certainly not!’ She looked rather cross. ‘Everything I sell is absolutely fresh!’

  ‘Do you sell anything that’s fresh and smelly?’ Jordan asked.

  Ruby thought about it. ‘What about blue vein cheese?’ she said.

  Jordan wrinkled his nose. Their pop liked blue vein cheese. It looked like normal cheese, except it had blue and green bits in it. The blue and green bits were mould. Eeew! Jordan had never tasted blue vein cheese (he didn’t dare), but it smelled disgusting �
� even worse than smelly socks.

  ‘Can I have some?’ he asked Ruby.

  Harry opened the special cage on the back of the FoxMobile and took out their school bags. Jordan put a big piece of stinky blue vein cheese in there. Then the twins rolled the FoxMobile backwards until the cage door was right next to the open doors of the egg van.

  ‘Come and get it, Mr Goanna!’ Jordan said softly.

  Mr (or Mrs) Goanna raised its head and flicked its long snaky tongue out and in. It could smell the mouldy cheese.

  And it liked what it smelled!

  Slowly, it crept into the cage, until just its back legs and its long, stripy tail poked out. It started eating the cheese. At a nod from Jordan, Harry used the broom to sweep the huge lizard’s back legs and tail all the way into the cage. Jordan slammed the door shut.

  Clang!

  ‘Bravo!’ cried Ruby.

  ‘Good work, boys!’ said Mr Dalby.

  Jordan and Harry reached across the cage and gave each other a Mission Fox high ten. (That’s a high five when you count all the fingers.)

  Mission over!

  Ruby shuffled closer and peered through the bars. ‘What are you going to do with it?’ she asked.

  The Mission Fox agents frowned. They hadn’t thought of that.

  The mission wasn’t over!

  ‘I guess we’ll have to take it back to the National Park,’ Jordan said.

  ‘And let it go,’ said Harry.

  It was a good plan, except for one thing …

  Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! went the school bell in the distance.

  ‘Shishkebab!’ cried Jordan and Harry.

  They were going to be late for the Pet Olympics!

  Myrtle came flying in through the school gates at top speed. Behind her, up on two wheels, came the FoxMobile. Jordan was driving. It was his turn. But suddenly he wished it wasn’t.

  Mrs Walsh, the school principal, was standing in the middle of the driveway. Right in their path!

  ‘EMERGENCY STOP!’ cried Jordan.

  Two sets of school shoes hit the tarmac.

  SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

  The FoxMobile stopped just in time. Mrs Walsh and Myrtle stood face-to-face. The principal wasn’t a tall lady, but Myrtle was a very tall dog.

  ‘Don’t!’ Jordan hissed at Myrtle.

  Too late.

  SLURP!

  Mrs Walsh took three steps backwards. She looked surprised. And a bit disgusted. Her face was covered with dog drool.

  ‘Good morning, Harry and Jordan,’ she muttered.

  ‘Good morning, Mrs Walsh.’

  The principal wiped her face with a handkerchief. ‘I’ve never seen such a huge dog,’ she said. ‘What kind is it?’

  ‘She’s one half Great Dane and one half Newfoundland,’ said Jordan.

  ‘She’s very friendly,’ Harry added.

  ‘I think I’ve already found that out,’ said Mrs Walsh, putting away her very soggy handkerchief. ‘And what’s that in the cage?’

  ‘A goanna,’ Harry said.

  ‘It’s the reason we’re late,’ Jordan said nervously.

  The twins had been late for school three times that term. But they’d always had good excuses.

  Excuse number 1: they had to rescue a baby rosella that fell out of its nest.

  Excuse number 2: they had to stop the traffic on Wattle Street while a line of hairy (and very slow) caterpillars crossed the road.

  Excuse number 3: Harry’s tarantula, Max, hitched a ride in Harry’s school bag and had to be taken home again.

  Mrs Walsh had let them off all three times without a punishment.

  But one more time, she’d warned, and they would be in serious trouble!

  Today was one more time.

  Uh oh!

  ‘Come and see me after the Olympics,’ the principal said sternly. ‘But right now, you had better hurry across to the oval or you’ll miss the parade.’

  Everyone was on the oval. They were lined up in class groups with their pets. Their teachers were marking the rolls and collecting the money. It cost $5 for a pet to go in the Olympics.

  ‘Hooray! The Fox twins are here at last!’ said Mr Stokes. He ticked the last two empty boxes on the 4S class list. ‘Why are you late?’

  It was Harry who answered. ‘We already saw Mrs Walsh about it, Mr Stokes.’

  ‘Hmmm,’ said their teacher. He walked over to the FoxMobile. ‘Nice set of wheels,’ he said. ‘And that’s a very impressive dog.’

  Jordan told him what kind she was. ‘Our brother Sam reckons Myrtle’s the biggest dog in the world,’ he added.

  ‘And he’s been to about a million countries,’ said Harry.

  Mr Stokes raised his eyebrows. He used to be Sam’s teacher, too. ‘Did you remember the money?’ he asked.

  Jordan gave him the envelope. It had their mum’s writing on it.

  H. & J. Fox, Pet Olympics – $5.

  ‘Shouldn’t that be ten dollars?’ asked Mr Stokes.

  Harry shook his head. ‘It’s five dollars to go in the Olympics.’

  ‘Five dollars per pet,’ said Mr Stokes. He pointed at Myrtle, then at the cage on the back of the FoxMobile. ‘One dog plus one lizard makes ten dollars.’

  Jordan felt his face turn red. All the other Grade Fours were watching. ‘The lizard isn’t a pet, Mr Stokes. It’s wild.’

  ‘Then what’s it doing here?’

  ‘We rescued it on the way to school,’ said Harry.

  ‘A man was poking it with a broom,’ Jordan explained.

  Mr Stokes walked over to the cage and peered through the bars at the big scaly goanna curled up inside. ‘Is it dangerous?’ he asked.

  Dangerous or scary pets weren’t allowed at school. That’s why Harry hadn’t been able to bring Max.

  ‘Sometimes they think people are trees and climb up them,’ Harry said.

  Everybody laughed, except Mr Stokes.

  ‘Make sure it stays in its cage,’ he said. ‘And don’t let anyone stick their fingers in.’

  ‘Yes, Mr Stokes,’ the twins said.

  Their teacher turned to the other Grade Fours and held up his hand until everyone except Zoe Hall’s cockatoo was silent.

  ‘WHO’S A PRETTY BOY?’ it shrieked.

  Harry nudged Jordan. ‘Is that Charlie?’

  Charlie the cockatoo belonged to an old lady called Mrs Seabert, who lived just around the corner from Mission Fox Headquarters.

  ‘Sure sounds like it,’ Jordan whispered.

  Mr Stokes glared at the twins. ‘Jordan and Harry, do you have something to say?’

  ‘No, Mr Stokes.’

  ‘Then pay attention,’ he said sternly. ‘Mrs Walsh is about to make an important announcement.’

  ‘ATTENTION, PLEASE!’ said Mrs Walsh, standing in the middle of the oval with a megaphone.

  Everyone held their breath. The Pet Olympics always started with a big parade, just like the real Olympics. The principal was about to announce who would lead it. Usually it was someone with an unusual pet, like Jake Eadie’s alpaca.

  The parade leader earned 20 points for their class.

  ‘LEADING THE PET OLYMPICS PARADE THIS YEAR WILL BE …’

  Mrs Walsh paused. The only sound was Briony Shelton’s piglet making little squealing noises.

  ‘… HARRY AND JORDAN’S BILLYCART!’

  The FoxMobile wasn’t a billycart, but the twins didn’t care. The Pet Olympics hadn’t even started, and 4S was already winning by 20 points!

  ‘HARRY AND JORDAN, COME TO THE STARTING POINT, PLEASE,’ called Mrs Walsh.

  ‘Myrtle, walk!’ Jordan said softly. He was back in the driver’s seat – Harry had forgotten whose turn it was.

  Myrtle pulled the FoxMobile to the starting point, where Mrs Walsh stood waiting. Everyone was watching. A line of parents and spectators went right around the oval. Jordan knew their mum and dad were there somewhere, but he couldn’t spot them in the crowd.

  ‘Myrtle, st
op!’ Jordan said when they reached Mrs Walsh.

  Myrtle stopped.

  ‘What a well-behaved dog!’ said the principal. She must have forgotten about being slurped.

  ‘Jordan and me trained her,’ Harry said.

  ‘Jordan and I trained her,’ said Mrs Walsh, who used to teach English.

  Harry lowered his voice. ‘Mrs Walsh did not train her!’

  ‘Shhhh!’ said Jordan.

  Luckily, the principal didn’t hear. She was helping Miss Barnes from Nullambine Kindergarten line up her three- and four-year-olds behind the FoxMobile. One little boy had a kitten. Jordan hoped it wouldn’t come too close. He was allergic to cats. And even though Myrtle was well trained, sometimes she still liked to chase them.

  At last everyone was ready. The line of children and pets went halfway around the oval. And the FoxMobile was at the front.

  ‘All set, Harry?’ asked Mrs Walsh.

  ‘I’m Jordan.’

  ‘Oops!’ she said, looking back and forth between the twins. ‘How does anyone tell you apart?’

  ‘I’m the handsome one,’ said Harry.

  Mrs Walsh smiled. ‘And what’s the name of your dog?’

  ‘Myrtle.’

  ‘Let’s see how well trained you are, Myrtle,’ said Mrs Walsh. ‘There’s a word they say to sled dogs when they want them to get moving …’

  Oh no! thought Jordan.

  But before he could stop her, Mrs Walsh said, ‘Mush!’

  Myrtle gave a joyous ‘Woof!’ and took off at a gallop.

  None of the other pets or their owners moved. Everyone stood with their mouths hanging open, watching the FoxMobile go shooting off across the oval at top speed.

  ‘EMERGENCY STOP!’ yelled Jordan.

  He and Harry put their feet down. But the oval was still damp with dew. Their shoes slid across the grass like ice skates. But Myrtle’s feet didn’t slide. Her claws dug in like a sled dog’s. Instead of slowing down, the FoxMobile was speeding up!

  This is bad, Jordan thought.

  They were running out of room. The end of the oval loomed ahead. Parents and spectators jumped out of the way as the FoxMobile hurtled towards them.

  Behind the parents and spectators was a high wooden fence.